across the miles, i hear you.
such a distant figure, yet so near.
i wish i could hold you, but reality check! you are miles and miles away from me.
but as i listen to your voice on this glorious day, i am clothed with all the love...with all the assurance that even if things are tough, our love will be there to stand tall.
this is the 60th-day that rob and i have shared as a couple, and looking back, i realize that sharing those delicate issues together, weaving the hands of time, seems to magically fit into our world. yes. its like magic.
i never imagined that love can be so strong a feeling that it makes me so insecure with a lot of things. i am blessed though to have rob reassure me that things are gonna be fine. man, things are really falling into place. it was so unexpected. but im thrilled.
oh yes! rob makes me so happy! he is just irresistible! hahahaha :-)
seriuosly, happy 2nd monthsary babe. im looking forward to more sharing and creating our memories... the road ahead isnt clear but with you beside me, i am safe. i love you.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
BarELy bReatHinG
oh little leaf
come, and join the wind.
let go of that twig,
spread your green coat, and fly.
but the little leaf wont budge,
remained as still as a stone
attached firmly on the twig
never letting go.
life is as is.
it offers lots of surprises,
oftentimes gifts of wisdom
clothed in rags.
i wish i have the ability
to reach into your heart
and melt your sorrows away
just like the little leaf.
i am the wind.
a gift i offer you.
take me.
reach out .
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
i am known to be a strong woman but without you i no longer exist. it pains me much that i dont know how to reach your heart. i wish i knew how to ease the pain. but i dont...
come, and join the wind.
let go of that twig,
spread your green coat, and fly.
but the little leaf wont budge,
remained as still as a stone
attached firmly on the twig
never letting go.
life is as is.
it offers lots of surprises,
oftentimes gifts of wisdom
clothed in rags.
i wish i have the ability
to reach into your heart
and melt your sorrows away
just like the little leaf.
i am the wind.
a gift i offer you.
take me.
reach out .
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
i am known to be a strong woman but without you i no longer exist. it pains me much that i dont know how to reach your heart. i wish i knew how to ease the pain. but i dont...
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
gaUGiNg tHe sHAdoWs
Disappointments hurt us;
no matter how much we try to ease things with the deep feelings nearing love,
we sometimes let ourselves be trapped in these hurtful situations.
It is not much to ask if the bizarre feelings we felt at that time impact how we perceive others;
our relationship to that person and our knowledge of acceptance.
However, these atypical systems in our lives sometimes determine our strength to let go of what is there and what is not.
It can be one of the most difficult things we face in life, yet there is a unique way of experiencing it because along with it comes the different choices in which we simply wait for those lessons we long to learn.
I am a disappointment; always have been.
I never fail on this.
It makes me sad that at these times I do wish I am not here;
that I’m locked away…
where no one can reach me.
Clothe me… hold me dear.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
I am being so emotional again;
lost once more in my own crazy world.
When will it end?
Or will it ever?
no matter how much we try to ease things with the deep feelings nearing love,
we sometimes let ourselves be trapped in these hurtful situations.
It is not much to ask if the bizarre feelings we felt at that time impact how we perceive others;
our relationship to that person and our knowledge of acceptance.
However, these atypical systems in our lives sometimes determine our strength to let go of what is there and what is not.
It can be one of the most difficult things we face in life, yet there is a unique way of experiencing it because along with it comes the different choices in which we simply wait for those lessons we long to learn.
I am a disappointment; always have been.
I never fail on this.
It makes me sad that at these times I do wish I am not here;
that I’m locked away…
where no one can reach me.
Clothe me… hold me dear.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
I am being so emotional again;
lost once more in my own crazy world.
When will it end?
Or will it ever?
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
DisORiEnTed
i have only less than a month before i leave for home. hmmm i realize too that ive been away for more than a month now, away from everyone... away from the comfort of all my friends and my family... away from those big servings of sinigang, nilaga, adobo, everything... just everything.
as i begin to contemplate further on this emptiness i have right now, i realize as well that i am slowly drifting away from the real world... am back into my own world that is full of unending questions of what if's.
being away from home for this long has taught me a lot about what "missing" is. i never expected to miss even the simplest things like bangus, daing, tinapa, etc. (awww!! gutom na ko!). i never expected that i'd be counting the days when i'll be home soon. all of this missing thing is so new to me. i love adventures that are freely given along with travelling. i love to discover how other people from other nations live... though i thought i wont ever feel this homesickness thing. it has been giving me a hard time. and i hate it.
i am out of the country for work. thats what im being paid for. not to sit and stare at the pc for so long hoping for my loved-ones to talk to me. argh!!! i am being silly.
going back... maybe its just as simple as wondering how it would be like if i were home right now.
i wish i were home. maybe i'd find myself with my sister talking about nonsensical things, but somehow we 'll still both enjoy hahahaha or maybe i'd be driving around with eveningdrive.
hay naku. nag eemote me again... missing a lot of things or persons make me sick. its driving me crazy. :(
hurry! can someone call the mental hopsital for me? hehehe
serious na... im missing home. sobra. uwi na ko. gusto ko na umuwi.
as i begin to contemplate further on this emptiness i have right now, i realize as well that i am slowly drifting away from the real world... am back into my own world that is full of unending questions of what if's.
being away from home for this long has taught me a lot about what "missing" is. i never expected to miss even the simplest things like bangus, daing, tinapa, etc. (awww!! gutom na ko!). i never expected that i'd be counting the days when i'll be home soon. all of this missing thing is so new to me. i love adventures that are freely given along with travelling. i love to discover how other people from other nations live... though i thought i wont ever feel this homesickness thing. it has been giving me a hard time. and i hate it.
i am out of the country for work. thats what im being paid for. not to sit and stare at the pc for so long hoping for my loved-ones to talk to me. argh!!! i am being silly.
going back... maybe its just as simple as wondering how it would be like if i were home right now.
i wish i were home. maybe i'd find myself with my sister talking about nonsensical things, but somehow we 'll still both enjoy hahahaha or maybe i'd be driving around with eveningdrive.
hay naku. nag eemote me again... missing a lot of things or persons make me sick. its driving me crazy. :(
hurry! can someone call the mental hopsital for me? hehehe
serious na... im missing home. sobra. uwi na ko. gusto ko na umuwi.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
UnLikELy
4AM IDC
i just read the recent post from rob (eveningdrive no more?) and although i wrote my comments on his post, it still doesnt seem right or maybe what i said there still isnt enough to say how i felt after reading it.
honestly, i never expected rob to share that realization in his life. i didnt know that he has given everything by leaping into the water, he may have been so unsure at that time but he made the leap. a big leap actually because it has cost him his life, if i may say so.
i know it wasnt easy for him but he managed to overcome his fears by taking that giant step, just because he wanted to be with me.
now, i may sound a bit mayabang na, but i didnt mean to. its just what i felt when i read the post. and now im worried and scared... what if what we have isnt the best thing for him? what if being with me adds up to his burden? these thoughts make me weak.
but i remember him saying something about taking risks. sa kanya ko nga natutunan un eh...
so i think its about time that i end these negative issues about disappointments and similar stuff.
as long as i know that he is happy being with me, then there is no reason for me to feel that way anymore.
i trust that our love is strong, and this is all i need to know.
i just read the recent post from rob (eveningdrive no more?) and although i wrote my comments on his post, it still doesnt seem right or maybe what i said there still isnt enough to say how i felt after reading it.
honestly, i never expected rob to share that realization in his life. i didnt know that he has given everything by leaping into the water, he may have been so unsure at that time but he made the leap. a big leap actually because it has cost him his life, if i may say so.
i know it wasnt easy for him but he managed to overcome his fears by taking that giant step, just because he wanted to be with me.
now, i may sound a bit mayabang na, but i didnt mean to. its just what i felt when i read the post. and now im worried and scared... what if what we have isnt the best thing for him? what if being with me adds up to his burden? these thoughts make me weak.
but i remember him saying something about taking risks. sa kanya ko nga natutunan un eh...
so i think its about time that i end these negative issues about disappointments and similar stuff.
as long as i know that he is happy being with me, then there is no reason for me to feel that way anymore.
i trust that our love is strong, and this is all i need to know.
my other half
living a thousand miles away from her makes my life dull, full of longing, to be home and be with this girl. i worry a lot about her, whether she is doing fine with all the necessities of life, if she is coping well with all the stress of living alone in the city.
we have been together, inseparable, for a straight 20+ years. we grew up throwing tantrums aimed at each other, displaying the funniest and darndest faces we could make, laughed and cried at all the men-are-jerks issues in life, had fallen in love, out of love and in love again and again, and had been there for each other through all these years. sometimes we forget to say how much we mean to each other yet we try to say it every moment we get the chance to do so.
and now, leaving her alone in the cold rainy days of manila makes me worry a lot. she has been used to me being around, to us being together. i am so unsure whether she can get things done by herself... but looking ahead at what this temporary separation can mean for her, i guess this is a test. i wish i could be there to comfort her when things go wrong, but i know that for all the things that will come her way while i am not around, she will need sometime alone to reflect on life and realize how strong she can be even if 'ate' is not around.
the road is rough and crooked. but i know she can see things through.
she is strong.
just like ate. :-)
i love you, sis! i miss u a lot. ate will be home soon. :-)
we have been together, inseparable, for a straight 20+ years. we grew up throwing tantrums aimed at each other, displaying the funniest and darndest faces we could make, laughed and cried at all the men-are-jerks issues in life, had fallen in love, out of love and in love again and again, and had been there for each other through all these years. sometimes we forget to say how much we mean to each other yet we try to say it every moment we get the chance to do so.
and now, leaving her alone in the cold rainy days of manila makes me worry a lot. she has been used to me being around, to us being together. i am so unsure whether she can get things done by herself... but looking ahead at what this temporary separation can mean for her, i guess this is a test. i wish i could be there to comfort her when things go wrong, but i know that for all the things that will come her way while i am not around, she will need sometime alone to reflect on life and realize how strong she can be even if 'ate' is not around.
the road is rough and crooked. but i know she can see things through.
she is strong.
just like ate. :-)
i love you, sis! i miss u a lot. ate will be home soon. :-)
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
my man!
yey! eto po ang love ko! hehehe kaso nakasimangot eh. di ata to masaya na kasama nya ako dito wahhehehehe
honestly, di ko lam why naging kme hehehe (joke lang po!) nde... truth is di kme magkasundo nyan before hehehe oh well, dami rin naman nangyayari na surprises sa buhay kaya yun, nakakatawa man isipin pero fate led us to each other. :)
i always prayed for lots of things for my man. but i thank God that He led me to rob. it was like magic, miraculously woven in the hands of time that rob and i were to meet and find out how good we look when we are together.
of course, mushy things are always served either very hot or very cold. depends on what we both feel like doing. so far, we are doing our best in trying todeal with that 2.5 hour difference in our scheds. i can say that rob has been extra patient with me all this time. it is really great having someone around to take care of you, who is willing to listen to all your ramblings about life.
i know i am indeed blessed to have him. i can say that i am lucky also, but i think "lucky" is too shallow a word to completely explain how i feel having him.
i love this man! i once told him that i was going to master judo or karate para pag may aagaw sa kanya sa kin eh kakaratehin ko or i-ju-judo ko hehehe
matagal pa ko dito, malayo pa sa kanya, pero isang buwan na lang. yey! tapos na rin after!
i'll be home soon baby. :)
i love you!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
wandering @wonderla
30 July 2006
i had a chance to visit this place "wonderla" at bangalore, india. a 2-hour ride away from St. John's woods (where im staying); and considered as one of the famous parks in bangalore.
it was around 11AM when reached the place. it was a typical sunday for everyone, and very much like the philippines, its a family day.
to my surprise, i had never seen such a queue of elderly women, children, parents, couples, teens going crazy to enter the park. i held my breath because im really not that accustomed to large groups of people sharing that familiar scent of fried onions. I think i may have to check myself din baka nahawa na ko.
anyways, off we went, took our tickets, grabbed a bin to place our things the started our journey around the place for 2 hours (thats the free time for the group before gathering again for a round of group rides).
the scorchingly screaming sun took the energy out of me. i never had the chance to enjoy my day because my migraine had been seeping in. the day was stressful for me. i spent the day watching the whole team enjoy themselves. hayy naku.
luckily, i tried the "anchor's away" look-a-like as a starter ride... but as soon as the wheels of the machine took us to flight, voila! my headache was throbbing so hard i vomitted right after the ride. it looks that i'd proven once again that rides like these aren't good for me...
(** sad part is... i know someone wont be at all too happy to know that i cant join him on similar rides :( sowee...)
---now, for the fun part.... hahaha and kinda ewwww for some... ---
the team asked us to join the group for a swim, which we didnt reject. we obliged. hayyy
we went to the "waves", very similar to that "wave pool" at fontana. we were there for around an hour or so. its quite fun. and i had the strangest feeling that most of the people there were staring at us because we were wearing shorts and sleeveless tops while they were sporting jeans + tee, or saree (a dress for women), or jogging pants + tee... yeah.. in short, they were ogling us.
the day went well after that, we had dinner in a fancy resto very similar to the restos at greenbelt 3.
we went home so tired that my two friends closed shut their own rooms the moment we reached home. hahahaa
as for me, i stayed longer at the sofa bed. i spent another 4 hours talking to my baby over ym - but this is another story i guess. :)
i had a chance to visit this place "wonderla" at bangalore, india. a 2-hour ride away from St. John's woods (where im staying); and considered as one of the famous parks in bangalore.
it was around 11AM when reached the place. it was a typical sunday for everyone, and very much like the philippines, its a family day.
to my surprise, i had never seen such a queue of elderly women, children, parents, couples, teens going crazy to enter the park. i held my breath because im really not that accustomed to large groups of people sharing that familiar scent of fried onions. I think i may have to check myself din baka nahawa na ko.
anyways, off we went, took our tickets, grabbed a bin to place our things the started our journey around the place for 2 hours (thats the free time for the group before gathering again for a round of group rides).
the scorchingly screaming sun took the energy out of me. i never had the chance to enjoy my day because my migraine had been seeping in. the day was stressful for me. i spent the day watching the whole team enjoy themselves. hayy naku.
luckily, i tried the "anchor's away" look-a-like as a starter ride... but as soon as the wheels of the machine took us to flight, voila! my headache was throbbing so hard i vomitted right after the ride. it looks that i'd proven once again that rides like these aren't good for me...
(** sad part is... i know someone wont be at all too happy to know that i cant join him on similar rides :( sowee...)
---now, for the fun part.... hahaha and kinda ewwww for some... ---
the team asked us to join the group for a swim, which we didnt reject. we obliged. hayyy
we went to the "waves", very similar to that "wave pool" at fontana. we were there for around an hour or so. its quite fun. and i had the strangest feeling that most of the people there were staring at us because we were wearing shorts and sleeveless tops while they were sporting jeans + tee, or saree (a dress for women), or jogging pants + tee... yeah.. in short, they were ogling us.
the day went well after that, we had dinner in a fancy resto very similar to the restos at greenbelt 3.
we went home so tired that my two friends closed shut their own rooms the moment we reached home. hahahaa
as for me, i stayed longer at the sofa bed. i spent another 4 hours talking to my baby over ym - but this is another story i guess. :)
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